Hey everyone, Skanda here! Welcome to the Grey Zone, where things aren't always black and white. We're all about exploring ways to manage your mental health, eat well, and stay fit. Here, we'll unpack these topics and empower you to craft your unique journey. Returning explorers (you awesome 53!), welcome back!
Linkin Park is back ( I am their biggest fan) and I am super excited. They released their new single “The Emptiness Machine”. A beautiful song, with great lyrics and production and we will talk about the rise in emptiness and meaninglessness.
The lyrics go as follows -
This song captures a sentiment I've been noticing more and more: a rising tide of emptiness, meaninglessness, and disconnection. While I don't have hard stats or scientific studies to quote (this is a personal newsletter, after all), I've observed some troubling trends:
There has been a global rise in
“I don’t know what I want to do”
“I don’t want to work or do anything, I just want to chill”
Meaninglessness and lower sense of self.
The rise of emptiness and loneliness
These issues manifest in concerning ways, from the growth of incel communities to aggressive behavior on social media. It seems many are retreating from real-world connections into virtual spaces.
The Shoulds
I can’t count how many times I’ve heard people tell me:
"You should be making lakhs of money."
"You should be an engineer or doctor."
"You should buy a house."
But here's the thing—who made these rules? Who decided what success should look like for each of us?
In psychology, these "shoulds" represent external pressures—societal norms or family expectations—rather than what we personally want. As Dr. Alok Kanojia puts it, when we constantly measure ourselves against these imposed standards, we set ourselves up for frustration and disappointment.
And even when we break free and figure out our own goals, society often pushes back.
You might want to be a chef, a writer, or a social media manager—but those dreams come with a hundred voices telling you why it’s the wrong choice. Worse still, you internalize these voices, telling yourself:
"I’ve got a good job, steady pay. I should be happy, even if I'm not."
But the real challenge? Listening to your own voice, not the 10,000 outside opinions.
The Rise Of Numbness
Many men today report feeling emotionally distant or disconnected.
This sense of apathy or 'numbness' can be attributed to a variety of factors, including the constant bombardment of negative news and social media, the prevalence of escapist behaviors like excessive gaming, and the growing pressure to suppress emotions.
The brain's amygdala, responsible for fear and panic, continues to function even when emotions are numbed. This can manifest in various ways, such as sleep disturbances, difficulty concentrating, and anxiety. While individuals may be unaware of these effects, they can significantly impact daily life.
The Rise of Meaninglessness
We're seeing a rise in porn addiction, video game addiction, and just general apathy. But here's the thing - these aren't the real problems. They're symptoms of something deeper.
The Root of the Problem: Externalized Meaning
When I talk to people about their careers, especially in fields like engineering, I often hear three main narratives:
"I love what I do!" (Which is great, but rare)
"I fell into this because it was the 'smart' choice, and now I'm stuck."
"I'm here, but I feel like a fraud." (Classic imposter syndrome)
Now, let's look at people who've checked out entirely - the folks who haven't had a job in years and spend all day gaming. They often say things like:
"I don't know what I want anymore."
"Nothing I do will ever be good enough."
Here's the kicker: all of these statements come from an external source. It's like we've been programmed to think this way. We're not connecting with our own wants and values; we're just following a script that society handed us.
The Motivation Ping-Pong
This leads to what I call the "motivation ping-pong." It looks something like this:
Or:
"I hate how I look" → "I'll go to the gym" → "I hate the gym" → "I hate how I look”
You are not motivated because you “want to go to the gym”
So, What Do We Do?
As we navigate this landscape of emptiness, shoulds, and meaninglessness, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. But there are steps we can take to reclaim our sense of purpose and authenticity:
Listen to Your Inner Voice: Spend time figuring out what you want, separate from external expectations. This might come through meditation, journaling, or even just taking a walk without distractions.
Lean into Discomfort: Growth happens when you push through discomfort. Instead of avoiding challenging situations, face them head-on.
Clarify Your Values: Ask yourself, "What truly matters to me? What would I do if no one was watching?" Once you know your values, align your actions with them.
Focus on Small, Consistent Actions: Meaningful change doesn’t happen overnight. Take one small step today, and let that momentum build over time.
Finding meaning is a lot like the lyrics of “The Emptiness Machine”—sometimes it feels like we’re just going through the motions, hoping for something more. And that’s okay.
Feeling lost or disconnected is part of being human. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to stay stuck. Even in the emptiness, you can take small steps forward.
As we wrap up this edition of The Grey Zone, I invite you to break the cycle.
Do one thing today that feels true to you—whether it’s saying “no” to something that doesn’t align with your heart or spending a few minutes doing something that genuinely makes you happy.
Just like the song reminds us, the “machine” doesn’t have to define you. You have the power to create your own meaning, starting with the smallest action.
Until next time—stay true to yourself, and keep exploring the Grey Zone.